Chapter xiii: Buffa's World

title: Ponders 2
date: Tuesday, January 16, 2007
time:4:16 PM

Forever careless, untrustworthy and irresponsible.
Tongue-tied while inconfidence reigns.
A never-ending pessimist who looks down on oneself.
Unfit for cetain roles yet is ordered to fake them out.
Wonders when will the ultimate punishment be justified.
Hopes to be given freedom from the torturous turmour.
Currently, depression overwhelmes follows by stress.
Always blaming oneself on the sadistic predicament.
When will white light be bestowed upon?
Wants to enjoy the joy of life without regrets.
Seems to be doing things behind them.
Just to hide the passion for something.
Or else they have to dictate one's piorities.
The thirst and hunger for freedom is growing.
Setting me free is the solution... ...

These are my deepest feelings that have overwhelmed me since then.
Why is this such a torture, I can't comprehend.
Maybe I have to just let go and let things flow?
As I realized that the more I give, the worst it gets.
I need comfort and encouragement, just like everyone else.
I seem to be treated as though I were a machine or even a freak who is not worthy of the love
Please, I'm human too.

*Ponders*

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